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 To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission 
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:38 pm
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Post To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
I have some questions to the fellas that have taken the steps to prove the presence of bacteria, and perhaps even those who have not yet.

1. It appears as if the road to getting testing confirmed is quite long. During that time, did you have sex with your partner and if so, was there any type of bacteria transmission to her? And to the guys who are just holding on for dear life, like me, have you done the same? I’m in a position where the wife wants another baby and we will be trying soon. I’m fearful of passing something to her, mindful that all std tests have been negative, but who knows about any other bacteria, even if it naturally resides in the body. If anyone replies with a story of transmission, please be specific. Naturally, I asked this question to online std docs and they say it isn’t possible. I’d like the perspective from those here though. I just assume that if the prostate was infected, it sure as hell would send that infection through semen.

2. It appears as though the guys here who indeed tested positive for bacteria after a sexual experience have had some stronger telltale signs; either fever and illness, or a clear case of urethritis. Has anyone had positive bacteria tests but only symptoms of pain like the “golf ball” feeling or painful perineum.

Currently, I have zero urinary, penis, or ejaculatory problems. I only have the golf ball, and it’s driving me nuts.

3. Cipro. My uro just wrote me a script in what felt like a starting point. I took one, and had horrendous side effects. Has anyone had any luck in just taking Cipro for 30 days? It really seems like that stuff is poison so i’m trying really hard to leave that bottle in the medicine cabinet.

Thanks guys!


Thu Jul 05, 2018 10:06 am
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Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2016 2:53 am
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
Hey Stan,

No issues with transmitting anything to my partner. Negative for all STDs and infections. I came down with prostatitis/CPPS 5 months before I ever met her.

I still get the golf ball feeling to a lesser extent if I spend too much time sitting.


Thu Jul 05, 2018 4:15 pm
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Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:11 pm
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Location: Canada
Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
I recommend strongly that if you take Cipro, make sure you take a strong high quality probiotic....

Cipro destroys all gut bacteria and can leave your digestive system a mess.


Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:37 pm
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:38 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
LabMonkey333 wrote:
Hey Stan,

No issues with transmitting anything to my partner. Negative for all STDs and infections. I came down with prostatitis/CPPS 5 months before I ever met her.

I still get the golf ball feeling to a lesser extent if I spend too much time sitting.



Thanks!! I've got a baby to make and would hate for anything terrible to come of that.




racebannon wrote:
I recommend strongly that if you take Cipro, make sure you take a strong high quality probiotic....

Cipro destroys all gut bacteria and can leave your digestive system a mess.


I'm not taking Cipro until I feel like I'm dying. I feel like the Uro just gave it to me as a starting point. There was no confirmed bacteria or anything, but my logical side scares me a little bit into thinking; when a doctor gives you a script, you're supposed to take it. In this case though, I don't know....


Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:47 pm
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Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:11 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
same here, when I first saw the urologist and tested negative for everything, he prescribed 30 days Cipro

That's the first treatment they try. I took it (didn't want to but was desperate) but it didn't change a thing. I am not saying you shouldn't try it, just my experience.


Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:22 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
When I first had symptoms I took Cipro for a week and it didn’t make a bit of difference, and im talking 2 days after the symptoms began. Neither did doxy, azithromycin, difulcan, etc etc etc


Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:34 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
I took Levofloxacin for 3 months and it did nothing except give me joint pain, which has thankfully passed now.


Fri Jul 06, 2018 6:56 am
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:38 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
LabMonkey333 wrote:
Hey Stan,

No issues with transmitting anything to my partner. Negative for all STDs and infections. I came down with prostatitis/CPPS 5 months before I ever met her.

I still get the golf ball feeling to a lesser extent if I spend too much time sitting.


Did you have a sexual exposure that started your symptoms? When you say negative for all infections, did you go through the whole ordeal of seamen tests and EPS and all of that madness? I haven't done any of that, and only get the golf ball problem, but this has all started after an oral sex event and I can't help but be petrified I could pass something along.

LabMonkey333 wrote:
When I first had symptoms I took Cipro for a week and it didn’t make a bit of difference, and im talking 2 days after the symptoms began. Neither did doxy, azithromycin, difulcan, etc etc etc


So, a bunch of abx, no help at all?

racebannon wrote:
same here, when I first saw the urologist and tested negative for everything, he prescribed 30 days Cipro

That's the first treatment they try. I took it (didn't want to but was desperate) but it didn't change a thing. I am not saying you shouldn't try it, just my experience.


Was yours brought on by a sexual event?


Have you all had a regular partenr that you continue to have unprotected sex with, and if so, has there been any issues from that??


Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:35 am
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
It started 2 days after a very brief blow job gone bad. I had urethritis like symptoms except there was no discharge or white blood cells. Saw many doctors and urologists.

Yes I’ve had many tests performed. EPS twice, urethral swabs, urine, semen, 4 glass test, urine flowmetry, and cystoscopy. Been tested for mycoplasmas and rare bacteria. Semen test came back positive for “bacteria” through one of those 3rd party labs that I had to pay out of pocket for. They wanted another $1,000 or $1.200 to identify what bacteria it could possibly be. All semen contains bacteria, so that 3rd party test was a complete waste of time and added more stress/anxiety.

Do whatever tests will help put your mind at ease. I wouldn’t recommend taking a month of cipro unless you are diagnosed with bacterial prostatitis. That stuff can really mess with your tendons.


Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:15 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
LabMonkey333 wrote:
It started 2 days after a very brief blow job gone bad. I had urethritis like symptoms except there was no discharge or white blood cells. Saw many doctors and urologists.

Yes I’ve had many tests performed. EPS twice, urethral swabs, urine, semen, 4 glass test, urine flowmetry, and cystoscopy. Been tested for mycoplasmas and rare bacteria. Semen test came back positive for “bacteria” through one of those 3rd party labs that I had to pay out of pocket for. They wanted another $1,000 or $1.200 to identify what bacteria it could possibly be. All semen contains bacteria, so that 3rd party test was a complete waste of time and added more stress/anxiety.

Do whatever tests will help put your mind at ease. I wouldn’t recommend taking a month of cipro unless you are diagnosed with bacterial prostatitis. That stuff can really mess with your tendons.


So in other words, you had some pain, no discharge or dysuria, and you've pretty much just lived with the discomfort? You haven't passed anything on to your partner since, right? Do you think that has something to do with the abx you took, or it was likely non-bacterial or at least, non-pathogenic? I have a baby to make, and am petrified.

All I have now is a very dull, intermittent golf ball feeling. The penis tip, urethra pain has been gone for weeks, and I did not take any abx. You're right, there is bacteria in semen naturally and I think the only ones I'd really have to worry about are the myco family and with that, I'd assume I'd have some urethritis symptoms (discharge, etc).


Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:35 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
The initial symptom was pain at the tip of the penis, like it had been rubbed the wrong way. I had some dysuria while on cipro and it made my legs feel weak and tired. My meatus became very sensitive to clothing and it was horrible. As time has passed it feels normal peeing and the sensitivity of the meatus/tip has become 95% better. The dysuria was most noticeable while being on azithromycin. I think I wasn’t drinking enough water. The burning was mostly mild; not pissing razors or anything like that.

The golf ball symptom / sitting discomfort arrived probably about a month into this mess and has been the hardest to get rid of. Internal PT, stretches, aerobics, and learning to relax or drop the pelvic floor muscles have helped a lot. It’s getting better on its own but it is very slow to recover. My initial anxiety and depression from all of this probably substantially slowed down the recovery time. I was spending hours every day researching STDs and cures. Don’t do what I did!


Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:11 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
I do not know what caused my symptoms however 4 years ago I started a new relationship and caught chlamydia....F...(she didn't know she had it, had no symptoms)

I went to the doc straight away and was put on the proper antibiotic. Symptoms from the infection disappeared in 12 days. I was retested 6 months after and all good.

I do fear that that infection may be the cause of my current hell, but who can really say?


Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:58 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
LabMonkey333 wrote:
The initial symptom was pain at the tip of the penis, like it had been rubbed the wrong way. I had some dysuria while on cipro and it made my legs feel weak and tired. My meatus became very sensitive to clothing and it was horrible. As time has passed it feels normal peeing and the sensitivity of the meatus/tip has become 95% better. The dysuria was most noticeable while being on azithromycin. I think I wasn’t drinking enough water. The burning was mostly mild; not pissing razors or anything like that.

The golf ball symptom / sitting discomfort arrived probably about a month into this mess and has been the hardest to get rid of. Internal PT, stretches, aerobics, and learning to relax or drop the pelvic floor muscles have helped a lot. It’s getting better on its own but it is very slow to recover. My initial anxiety and depression from all of this probably substantially slowed down the recovery time. I was spending hours every day researching STDs and cures. Don’t do what I did!



I am doing exactly what you did, spending most of my hours researching std’s! I’m petrified that I have something I will pass on to my wife, yet the uro is just like, “here’s some Cipro, see what that does.” Your situation sounds similar to mine, minus any dysuria. And you have not passed anything on to your partner, correct? My only concern is that you did indeed take abx at first so maybe that killed something. But then again, you still have pain.

I struggle with bacterial vs not. My anxiety and depression are 12/10. I think about this 95% of my day. I am about to try to have a baby, yet I feel like a volleyball is stuck in my rear. How the hell do I just consider that to be muscle and nerve stress? This feeling went away for about 2 weeks but is now back. And it’s not always all day. I wonder if infection would cause it always to be there. For example, when sleeping I’m fine. When I wake up, look at my wife sleeping, and feel like a piece of crap, it triggers and now I’m in pain again. I’m so lost. I just want verification I don’t have anything I could pass. Yet going down that path will be difficult, may not prove anything since a lot of these bacteria are already in our bodies, and will definitely get me busted. This sucks


Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:01 am
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
If you test clean for std, you are not going to pass anything...there's endless ideas here about mystery rogue bacteria hiding in our male tissues causing these symptoms

I don't know what to think anymore but I won't discount that it's possible.

I've exhausted the urology route, and am now in worse pain than when I started

I hear you on the emotional side of things...have you considered seeking some therapy?

Like you, nighttime is best for me, the pain subsides, and starts all over in the morning.


Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:32 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
My experience started 3yrs ago this month from a brief extramarital vaginal/oral encounter. Two days afterward I developed urethritis symptoms - specifically very heavy discharge and urethra irritation. I was convinced I had gonorrhea or chlamydia however two NAAT urine tests said otherwise and a urine culture showed no growth. Due to this I had no treatment until about 3mo into it when I finally went to a uro and got doxy. Golfball feeling started right about the time I did the doxy and lasted for several years. Now it's finally gone though.


I was convinced I would give my wife whatever it was, so up until Doxy we only had protected sex, and very little of it at that due to the circumstances of the situation. Then on only my 3rd day of doxy I had a complete condom failure and freaked out because my wife was now exposed to whatever it was that I had. That was the last time I ever wore a condom and we've since had sex hundreds of times. Every single doc - primary care, infectious disease, uro - and trust me there have been a ton of them...has said since it wasn't an STD there was no way I'd pass it along to my wife. She's never showed any symptoms and never been tested so clearly they were right. Given my 90% improvement in symptoms I can say we clearly aren't ping-ponging any infection back and forth.

In the past 3yrs I've had urine cultures, semen cultures, mycoplasma swabs, EPS cultures, NAAT tests....the only thing that ever showed anything was one urine culture was positive for e-coli, one semen culture showed enterococcus, and one EPS culture showed e-coli. I've taken a ton of different abxs and none solved my problem, frankly I would have avoided all sorts of pain and suffering had I just stopped after that first doxy script.

Slowly over the past 3yrs my heavy discharge got thicker and lighter until several months ago it just went away on its own. The iritated meatus and urethra symptoms followed basically the same timeframe. The golfball symptoms lasted until recently and now all I have is the occasional prostate pain if I ejaculate too many days in a row.


I have no idea what caused my prostatitis. Based on my initial symptoms I lean more toward an infectious origin than stress/guilt but I can't say for sure. I hghly doubt it was e-coli or enterococcus based on all the abxs I took for that with no real results. Not to mention the urine culture finding nothing in the beginning before any treatment despite me literally squeezing almost a Tsp of discharge into the cup! Things really did start getting better fast once my improvement reached critical mass to the point where I didn't obsess over it. Looking up STDs and other vapor illnesses online all day will only cause you more grief. Patience is the key.


Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:43 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
prostate454 wrote:
My experience started 3yrs ago this month from a brief extramarital vaginal/oral encounter. Two days afterward I developed urethritis symptoms - specifically very heavy discharge and urethra irritation. I was convinced I had gonorrhea or chlamydia however two NAAT urine tests said otherwise and a urine culture showed no growth. Due to this I had no treatment until about 3mo into it when I finally went to a uro and got doxy. Golfball feeling started right about the time I did the doxy and lasted for several years. Now it's finally gone though.


I was convinced I would give my wife whatever it was, so up until Doxy we only had protected sex, and very little of it at that due to the circumstances of the situation. Then on only my 3rd day of doxy I had a complete condom failure and freaked out because my wife was now exposed to whatever it was that I had. That was the last time I ever wore a condom and we've since had sex hundreds of times. Every single doc - primary care, infectious disease, uro - and trust me there have been a ton of them...has said since it wasn't an STD there was no way I'd pass it along to my wife. She's never showed any symptoms and never been tested so clearly they were right. Given my 90% improvement in symptoms I can say we clearly aren't ping-ponging any infection back and forth.

In the past 3yrs I've had urine cultures, semen cultures, mycoplasma swabs, EPS cultures, NAAT tests....the only thing that ever showed anything was one urine culture was positive for e-coli, one semen culture showed enterococcus, and one EPS culture showed e-coli. I've taken a ton of different abxs and none solved my problem, frankly I would have avoided all sorts of pain and suffering had I just stopped after that first doxy script.

Slowly over the past 3yrs my heavy discharge got thicker and lighter until several months ago it just went away on its own. The iritated meatus and urethra symptoms followed basically the same timeframe. The golfball symptoms lasted until recently and now all I have is the occasional prostate pain if I ejaculate too many days in a row.


I have no idea what caused my prostatitis. Based on my initial symptoms I lean more toward an infectious origin than stress/guilt but I can't say for sure. I hghly doubt it was e-coli or enterococcus based on all the abxs I took for that with no real results. Not to mention the urine culture finding nothing in the beginning before any treatment despite me literally squeezing almost a Tsp of discharge into the cup! Things really did start getting better fast once my improvement reached critical mass to the point where I didn't obsess over it. Looking up STDs and other vapor illnesses online all day will only cause you more grief. Patience is the key.



Man, you apparently have the most understanding wife in the world! A huge piece of my problem is the secret I’m carrrying. My wife would not be u derstanding at all and we have a small child I have to consider. It kills me, and I just can’t stop spending endless hours online that don’t help me.

You definitely had more sever symptoms than me, plus a partial vaginal exposure. It’s comforting to know you didn’t pass anything on bacteria-wise. I really hope the same goes for me. Do you think the fact that you did take abx helped with that somewhat?

I’m really at a loss what to do here. It’s been 15 weeks today since exposure (<2 min oral sex). I was accumulating massive amounts of guilt from the second it happened. It was an unexpected event, and now I’m paying dearly. My uro thinks it’s in my head and just gave me Cipro. I took one and nearly hallucinated. I just don’t know if I should keep down this path and try to get samples tested, etc. If I was confident in a clear outcome, which doesn’t seem to be the case for anyone, I would do it. But I risk exposure from the wife if I keep creating a trail of doc visits and random abx scripts. Also, if I did a semen sample, there are tons of bacteria in semen. And most of the bacteria the guys here are finding are present in the human body and/or genitalia tracts already, including mycoplasmas. What am I going to ultimately learn if I go down that road? I don’t want to be inertile. And I am losing sleep over passing something to my partner. We’ve only had sex 3 times since the incident. Once I got my full panel std tests back I was relieved and ejaculared inside of her. The other 2 times I pulled out because she stopped the pill, but we’ll be trying for baby soon. Nothing has come of that, and she just recently had her pap smear and std tests which were fine. That should be encouraging, yet I dwell on the possibilities of “what if.”

Have you seen any stories here of guys passing something along? I’ve looked and couldn’t really find anything. If prostatitis caused by an alleged sexual event were contagious, I’d assume there would be more than a few follow ups about ping ponging infections.

My symptoms went from burning perineum, penis, and thighs, which has completely stopped for weeks, to now just the golf ball feeling. And even that comes and goes. I’m debating making a uro appointment but for what? I’m lost, depressed, and have major life events coming up that would go nuclear should any of this come out or worse, be passed on. The only positive thought I had was when I have an unrelated stressful event, I immediately feel the golf ball thing come and everything tighten up. Maybe that’s a sign of my muscular/nerve distress.

This sucks. I don’t go a day without this dominating 90% of my time, and yes I’m seeking therapy. However, how do you explain something that nobody seems to freaking understand!?!?


Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:57 am
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
racebannon wrote:
If you test clean for std, you are not going to pass anything...there's endless ideas here about mystery rogue bacteria hiding in our male tissues causing these symptoms

I don't know what to think anymore but I won't discount that it's possible.

I've exhausted the urology route, and am now in worse pain than when I started

I hear you on the emotional side of things...have you considered seeking some therapy?

Like you, nighttime is best for me, the pain subsides, and starts all over in the morning.



I really hope you’re right about the non-transmission if not a true std. I’ve passed all of those tests, more than I probably should have taken. It’s the paranoia of some bacteria causing vaginal problems which would lead to dr visits and ultimately bigger problems. I just hope others in this situation could say nothing has come of it with heir partners and it’s just dealing with the pain. If that’s all I had to do, I’d live with it easier


Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:02 am
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
go see the doctor again, tell him or her your concerns about transmission, of course we are not doctors here and are only giving opinions

If your wife won't understand, then clear your mind from the doctor that you won't pass anything, keep it to yourself, and refocus on your relationship and don't stray


Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:48 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
stanfelder wrote:
Man, you apparently have the most understanding wife in the world! A huge piece of my problem is the secret I’m carrrying. My wife would not be u derstanding at all and we have a small child I have to consider. It kills me, and I just can’t stop spending endless hours online that don’t help me.

You definitely had more sever symptoms than me, plus a partial vaginal exposure. It’s comforting to know you didn’t pass anything on bacteria-wise. I really hope the same goes for me. Do you think the fact that you did take abx helped with that somewhat?

I’m really at a loss what to do here. It’s been 15 weeks today since exposure (<2 min oral sex). I was accumulating massive amounts of guilt from the second it happened. It was an unexpected event, and now I’m paying dearly. My uro thinks it’s in my head and just gave me Cipro. I took one and nearly hallucinated. I just don’t know if I should keep down this path and try to get samples tested, etc. If I was confident in a clear outcome, which doesn’t seem to be the case for anyone, I would do it. But I risk exposure from the wife if I keep creating a trail of doc visits and random abx scripts. Also, if I did a semen sample, there are tons of bacteria in semen. And most of the bacteria the guys here are finding are present in the human body and/or genitalia tracts already, including mycoplasmas. What am I going to ultimately learn if I go down that road? I don’t want to be inertile. And I am losing sleep over passing something to my partner. We’ve only had sex 3 times since the incident. Once I got my full panel std tests back I was relieved and ejaculared inside of her. The other 2 times I pulled out because she stopped the pill, but we’ll be trying for baby soon. Nothing has come of that, and she just recently had her pap smear and std tests which were fine. That should be encouraging, yet I dwell on the possibilities of “what if.”

Have you seen any stories here of guys passing something along? I’ve looked and couldn’t really find anything. If prostatitis caused by an alleged sexual event were contagious, I’d assume there would be more than a few follow ups about ping ponging infections.

My symptoms went from burning perineum, penis, and thighs, which has completely stopped for weeks, to now just the golf ball feeling. And even that comes and goes. I’m debating making a uro appointment but for what? I’m lost, depressed, and have major life events coming up that would go nuclear should any of this come out or worse, be passed on. The only positive thought I had was when I have an unrelated stressful event, I immediately feel the golf ball thing come and everything tighten up. Maybe that’s a sign of my muscular/nerve distress.

This sucks. I don’t go a day without this dominating 90% of my time, and yes I’m seeking therapy. However, how do you explain something that nobody seems to freaking understand!?!?



The main reasons I told my wife what happened were:

1. Because I was convinced that there was no way to hide an STD (when I told her I still had not gotten my negative NAAT test results back). I had visions of a social worker showing up at our front door when I got a positive chlamydia diagnosis (that's supposedly what happens in my county...).

2. My encounter happened with a (now former) very good professional lady friend of mine. One evening on business travel in Houston, me, her, alcohol...a bad combo. Our relationship had never been inappropriate before this time and ultimately that night I refused to have actual sex with her which she did not take very well to. It was not a pretty "breakup". She knew my wife and how to contact her, and my wife knew who she was. I was afraid that I'd live my life in fear of her randomly ratting me out given how bad things ended. I had to neutralize that threat right away by coming clean.


It was touch and go for about 1mo. Seeing a therapist together was critical to talking through the issues and we both agree that we came through it all stronger than before. One of the key things was me coming clean on my own, our therapist said that basically never happens so it added a sense of taking responsibility to my actions. Of course if I could have guaranteed to myself that there was no way she would ever find out then I wouldn't have told her - it was stressful for sure and we don't have any kids or anything like that. I beat myself up for it with guilt for about 1.5 years before I finally forgave myself. We haven't talked about the event in probably 1.5 years.


If you already had unprotected sex then your wife was already exposed to whatever it was, assuming it was actually anything in the first place. So if there are no problems then it's probably safe. Why not just take 10 days of doxy to settle your mind? That shouldn't be suspicious to your wife....women get UTIs all the time and you could always just say you probably got some e-coli during one of your sex encounters. Same with me - I was only on my third day of doxy when the condom failed so surely I would still have had the pathogen in me if it actually existed.


But if you're so freaked out that one cipro pill almost caused a nervous breakdown then I'd err more on the side that it's in your head and you're probably stressing yourself out so bad that it's magnifying every little symptom that you associate with the event.

Ugh I also had the burning in the thighs and perineum, lasted 2.5 years or so for me. The thigh burning is due to tight pelvic floor muscles.


Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:22 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
racebannon wrote:
go see the doctor again, tell him or her your concerns about transmission, of course we are not doctors here and are only giving opinions

If your wife won't understand, then clear your mind from the doctor that you won't pass anything, keep it to yourself, and refocus on your relationship and don't stray



Thanks! The doc already told me last time that he thought it was in my head. He didn’t bother to mention any sort of testing options, and instead just wanted to try Cipro. I don’t know if going down the path of a bunch of tests would be in my best interest, especially with a wife that would go nuclear if/when she sees uro visits and scripts as a trail. The thing I’m holding onto is that I never had urinary symptoms, never had discharge, passed all std tests, and already had sex with her. My guilt and stress are unprecedented here, it has to be a huge piece of it.


Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:44 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
prostate454 wrote:
stanfelder wrote:
Man, you apparently have the most understanding wife in the world! A huge piece of my problem is the secret I’m carrrying. My wife would not be u derstanding at all and we have a small child I have to consider. It kills me, and I just can’t stop spending endless hours online that don’t help me.

You definitely had more sever symptoms than me, plus a partial vaginal exposure. It’s comforting to know you didn’t pass anything on bacteria-wise. I really hope the same goes for me. Do you think the fact that you did take abx helped with that somewhat?

I’m really at a loss what to do here. It’s been 15 weeks today since exposure (<2 min oral sex). I was accumulating massive amounts of guilt from the second it happened. It was an unexpected event, and now I’m paying dearly. My uro thinks it’s in my head and just gave me Cipro. I took one and nearly hallucinated. I just don’t know if I should keep down this path and try to get samples tested, etc. If I was confident in a clear outcome, which doesn’t seem to be the case for anyone, I would do it. But I risk exposure from the wife if I keep creating a trail of doc visits and random abx scripts. Also, if I did a semen sample, there are tons of bacteria in semen. And most of the bacteria the guys here are finding are present in the human body and/or genitalia tracts already, including mycoplasmas. What am I going to ultimately learn if I go down that road? I don’t want to be inertile. And I am losing sleep over passing something to my partner. We’ve only had sex 3 times since the incident. Once I got my full panel std tests back I was relieved and ejaculared inside of her. The other 2 times I pulled out because she stopped the pill, but we’ll be trying for baby soon. Nothing has come of that, and she just recently had her pap smear and std tests which were fine. That should be encouraging, yet I dwell on the possibilities of “what if.”

Have you seen any stories here of guys passing something along? I’ve looked and couldn’t really find anything. If prostatitis caused by an alleged sexual event were contagious, I’d assume there would be more than a few follow ups about ping ponging infections.

My symptoms went from burning perineum, penis, and thighs, which has completely stopped for weeks, to now just the golf ball feeling. And even that comes and goes. I’m debating making a uro appointment but for what? I’m lost, depressed, and have major life events coming up that would go nuclear should any of this come out or worse, be passed on. The only positive thought I had was when I have an unrelated stressful event, I immediately feel the golf ball thing come and everything tighten up. Maybe that’s a sign of my muscular/nerve distress.

This sucks. I don’t go a day without this dominating 90% of my time, and yes I’m seeking therapy. However, how do you explain something that nobody seems to freaking understand!?!?



The main reasons I told my wife what happened were:

1. Because I was convinced that there was no way to hide an STD (when I told her I still had not gotten my negative NAAT test results back). I had visions of a social worker showing up at our front door when I got a positive chlamydia diagnosis (that's supposedly what happens in my county...).

2. My encounter happened with a (now former) very good professional lady friend of mine. One evening on business travel in Houston, me, her, alcohol...a bad combo. Our relationship had never been inappropriate before this time and ultimately that night I refused to have actual sex with her which she did not take very well to. It was not a pretty "breakup". She knew my wife and how to contact her, and my wife knew who she was. I was afraid that I'd live my life in fear of her randomly ratting me out given how bad things ended. I had to neutralize that threat right away by coming clean.


It was touch and go for about 1mo. Seeing a therapist together was critical to talking through the issues and we both agree that we came through it all stronger than before. One of the key things was me coming clean on my own, our therapist said that basically never happens so it added a sense of taking responsibility to my actions. Of course if I could have guaranteed to myself that there was no way she would ever find out then I wouldn't have told her - it was stressful for sure and we don't have any kids or anything like that. I beat myself up for it with guilt for about 1.5 years before I finally forgave myself. We haven't talked about the event in probably 1.5 years.


If you already had unprotected sex then your wife was already exposed to whatever it was, assuming it was actually anything in the first place. So if there are no problems then it's probably safe. Why not just take 10 days of doxy to settle your mind? That shouldn't be suspicious to your wife....women get UTIs all the time and you could always just say you probably got some e-coli during one of your sex encounters. Same with me - I was only on my third day of doxy when the condom failed so surely I would still have had the pathogen in me if it actually existed.


But if you're so freaked out that one cipro pill almost caused a nervous breakdown then I'd err more on the side that it's in your head and you're probably stressing yourself out so bad that it's magnifying every little symptom that you associate with the event.

Ugh I also had the burning in the thighs and perineum, lasted 2.5 years or so for me. The thigh burning is due to tight pelvic floor muscles.



Some story!! Congrats on keeping the marriage together. Unfortunately for me, should my <15 min massage parlor visit and <2 min bj story got to her, she would walk. That’s just how she is. That should also help explain why I’d be hesitant to get another script filled. I’ve already had doc visits without sharing, and that alone will cause mayhem. This causes a lot of my fear and catastrophic thinking. Ship me some of yours! haha

Honestly, I never wanted the stupid bj. I stopped it after a short time and left. From that moment on, I was overly charged up about it and within 4 days was already logged onto a website paying to ask doctors questions about the exposure. I tested for std’s 3 different times confidentially, and have been overly focused on every little body feeling. Even with her, if her toenail hurts, I panic. That should help define my mental state at the moment. That’s why I have to put some weight into an emotional cause for me. I’ve tormented myself for months, lost 15lbs, search the web for hours a day, barely work, etc. I’m petrified to lose my family and the guilt is crushing me.

It’s encouraging you said that burning thighs is tight muscles. I wondered that when this began, and I had the burning pain in the perineum, thighs, anus and sometimes penis if that is what infection feels like, or that’s what tight muscles and irritated nerves feel like. I would assume nerve endings over firing would feel like that. It’s been gone for a while though, and all I have now is the golf ball at times. My sincere hope is it’s those muscles and nerves in there that continue to react to my overthinking about it and flare up.

It just seems impossible to get a certain answer without going down the path of becoming a lab rat, and even then, like you said, was it worth it and did it solve anything?


Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:57 pm
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:38 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
Also, I just spent a TON of time reading through all of the oral sex threads. It certainly exists, but no abx are working and a fair amount of guys start to sway towards the muscular/nerve theory. Further, most of the guys who got this from oral clearly state urinary problems such as pain, lots of frequency, discharge, maybe even blood as well as painful ejaculation. These all seem to be very common. Thankfully for me, I can’t relate to any of them. I’m really hoping this is a karma lesson for me which I hear loud and clear, and my catastrophic thinking did indeed result in muscle/nerve problems that just simply need time. Fingers crossed...


Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:50 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
stanfelder wrote:
Some story!! Congrats on keeping the marriage together. Unfortunately for me, should my <15 min massage parlor visit and <2 min bj story got to her, she would walk. That’s just how she is. That should also help explain why I’d be hesitant to get another script filled. I’ve already had doc visits without sharing, and that alone will cause mayhem. This causes a lot of my fear and catastrophic thinking. Ship me some of yours! haha

Honestly, I never wanted the stupid bj. I stopped it after a short time and left. From that moment on, I was overly charged up about it and within 4 days was already logged onto a website paying to ask doctors questions about the exposure. I tested for std’s 3 different times confidentially, and have been overly focused on every little body feeling. Even with her, if her toenail hurts, I panic. That should help define my mental state at the moment. That’s why I have to put some weight into an emotional cause for me. I’ve tormented myself for months, lost 15lbs, search the web for hours a day, barely work, etc. I’m petrified to lose my family and the guilt is crushing me.

It’s encouraging you said that burning thighs is tight muscles. I wondered that when this began, and I had the burning pain in the perineum, thighs, anus and sometimes penis if that is what infection feels like, or that’s what tight muscles and irritated nerves feel like. I would assume nerve endings over firing would feel like that. It’s been gone for a while though, and all I have now is the golf ball at times. My sincere hope is it’s those muscles and nerves in there that continue to react to my overthinking about it and flare up.

It just seems impossible to get a certain answer without going down the path of becoming a lab rat, and even then, like you said, was it worth it and did it solve anything?


Tell me about it. This latina friend of mine was absolutely gorgeous. She was a runway model on the side and was 9yrs my junior (I was 35, she was 26), but in the moment when she was literally naked trying to get me to "satisfy her" as she so eloquently put it, I was just mortified. I wasn't attracted to her at all. All I could think about was that I had become "that guy" who wasn't faithful to his wife. The whole thing was a disaster, and that was before I knew anything about urethritis or prostatitis. Had I have even had an inkling of the hell I was in for...

Anyway, since your prostatitis apparently isn't due to chlamydia, gonorrhea, or 'plasma, I'm not sure what the issue is. I used to have peer-reviewed papers that said as much, but the vast majority of bacterial prostatitis is due to e-coli. That could easily be due to contraction from your wife, and heck you could even turn it around and say to her that it was due to her hygiene habits - since men get UTIs at a much lower rate due to our two "openings" being further away from each other than in women.


At worst, you literally have a UTI. Women get them all the time. They are more rare in men, but something like 20-40% of all men experience prostatitis symptoms in their lifetimes if I remember correctly. And then there's BPH. Prostatitis symptoms aren't all the different. You could easily play it as "oh my uro wants to try an abx before prescribing flomax" or something like that. Prostate pain is entirely normal for men during the course of their lifetime. Hell, you could have cancer or something like that for all she knows (#metoo!!), a trip to the uro shouldn't be out of the ordinary. No I don't think you have cancer, but it's an easy smokescreen. You wouldn't get pissed at your wife for getting a lump in her breast checked out for fear of breast cancer, right? She shouldn't do that for you either.


And under that guise, if it would really ease your mind, get treated with moxifloxacin+azithromycin for some time. Nothing STD-ish will survive that cocktail - look it up, it has an almost perfect record against any of the 'plasmas, and easily handles chlamydia (but I wouldn't be worried about chlamydia or gonorrhea if you've had those tests already). The remainder of pathogens are just regular ole bacteria that don't indicate that you've strayed at all. Infections happen, and I'm guessing at this point you know an order of magnitude more than your wife will ever know about STDs and STIs.

If every time a lady got a UTI we had to assume infidelity, it would be a whole 'nother world.

Of course I wish I had known all this stuff *before* I told my lady of my transgression, unfortunately I had to learn it the hard way. My grandma died about 2 weeks after my transgression, which meant family gettogether. And that meant facing her parents, and let me tell you that was far worse than even telling my wife. I can't tell you how sh*$$y I felt. I'm still not sure her mom will ever quite forgive me, though she's pretty old so I just have to wait her out a few more years most likely (can't believe I just said that). We all agreed not to tell my parents - which is really sad because her parents basically told me they didn't want my parents to look at their son with disappointment or failure, that was hard to stomach. You have the benefit of the experience of people like me to draw on though. I wish I had that advice 3yrs ago.


Sun Jul 08, 2018 7:59 pm
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:38 pm
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Post Re: To the bacterial proven, question about sex transmission
Thanks for that! What I think sets me apart in the UTI discussion is lack of discharge, or any urinary symptoms at all. In your case, you experienced that stuff and like you, I would have freaked out too! Perhaps it was the brief vaginal portion that did that, who knows? The online docs say I was over tested and to freaking relax. I'm pretty sure that if I had a UTI of any form, it would have become apparent by now, but there has never been any protein, nitrates, or WBC's present on any of my tests. I was even doing dumb .... like getting uti tests from the store and using them. Who knows how well they work, but I did a few boxes worth and nothing came of that either.

The other advice I was given echos what you just said; bacteria is everywhere in our bodies. I am 100% clear of the serious STD bugs with numerous lab NAAT testing to prove that. The only thing left to do would be to go down that trail of chasing some sort of bacterial cause for my golf ball feeling. However, many studies show that bacteria in men with prostatitis is no different from those that don't. Further, even the plasmas are in up to 50% of sexually active people, and cause no problems when not over-colonized. For the small sample of guys here who tested positive for that, who is to say it wasn't always there? It's not like they tested for it beforehand. But, if their junk is leaking, burning, etc, I'd have to believe it to be the cause as well. But again, that's where I feel my case leans towards stress. When I get stressed, I can honestly feel the golf ball/anus tightening. Maybe that's where the phrase "tight ass" came from in the first place?

If my uro thought there could potentially be a problem, and I was clear with him about my family situation, I would expected him to elaborate on bacterias and discuss some testing options. I remember him saying that prostatitis was not caused by oral sex. Whether right or wrong, it doesn't seem that another trip to him will change anything. As for the abx trail: I'm trying to avoid it like the plague. I have an elective surgery coming up and of course my wife will be with me the entire way. I'm struggling with how I'm going to explain the Cipro since I didn't share it with her. I'll be using the story of embarrassment, explain CPPS and how it's stress related, etc. But if I have a list of more abx, I'm sure the surgeons are going to ask about it as well. And for what? I'm pretty sure that every thread I've read on here about guys taking abx, none of them have had a miraculous recovery. The problem for a catastrophic thinker like me is, I can't just get that finality of nothing is wrong. But then again, I remember when I did get my negative tests, knew nothing about prostatitis at that point, and we had sex. If anything, while fairly symptomatic, I'm sure there would have been an issue there. And even if so moving forward, what am I stressing so hard about? Worst case is ecoli or something like that which she could treat quickly and move on. My thoughts are the problem here. If I could tell you how many times I've tested for HIV over the years you'd laugh......


Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:34 am
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